February 2011
5 tags
I'm not afraid of dying.
I’ve binged and purged 3 times in the past four hours and my insides are turning inside out.
I’ve never felt so much pain. Yet, it’s soothing.
January 2011
5 tags
Sex.
Yes. That infamous car game. Nic and David got completely naked. I got down to my underwear. Noah was the only one fully dressed.
I felt so insecure.
So I was binging earlier and Nic texts me he and his brothers are almost at my house. They get here and I’m stuffing my face in pasta alfredo. I go upstairs, throw up and come down, undetected. Success?
Then i ate too much salad. I know, I...
2 tags
“Some figured I was Satan bound
Until I came back with a style I found
Then all...”
– Cudi Zone. Kid Cudi.
1 tag
He's happy, I'm happy.
I don’t know where I’d be without my Nic. I’ve never felt this happy in my life. And that’s a big deal since I’ve had major depression since I was 10 and an eating disorder since I was 12 and I’ve been in and out of rehabs and melt downs and just plain hell. And then he came along out of nowhere.
Any other girl can’t even compare their significant other...
1 tag
5 tags
FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT
I’m binging while i’m typing this. Second time today. I don’t even have reasons to anymore, i’m just addicted. I feel alone.
5 tags
Why does it bug him so much?
and why am I binging?
“Self-perservation is masturbation.”
– Tyler Durden, FIGHT CLUB
3 tags
Bicurious much?
Maybe. So i told him the conversation I had yesterday with her. About us most likely kissing drunkily or sober, who knows and me pursuing a relationship with a chick. “SHE WON’T MAKE YOU HAPPY sexuallyMAIRA”, haha. i don’t know that, I’ve never been with a girl. It’s kinda hard to tell when my heart belongs to him. But I’ve had crushes on girl before. Like...
Today's his birthday
aaaand I feel weird about it. Not that I care or anything, its just that I had a dream we were back together and it was weird. Did not like it at all. Guys from my past are starting to haunt me. Like wtf, why is this guy that I havent talked to since 8th grade talking to me and wanting to hang out randomly. Nic doesn’t like it. I dunno what to do about that. Weird.